Books I Wish I'd Written: Black Earth - Dark Masquerade

Black Earth: Dark Masquerade Review

As the Earth continues to fall into destruction the young Nathan Pierce and his allies race to rescue his sister Daisy from her immanent public execution. The president of what’s left of the United States is grabbing all the power she can, as the malevolent alien force Legion, along with their demonic allies, continue to transform the Earth into a violent, dark and frigid world.

     The saga of Black Earth continues on in the third and penultimate in the series, Dark Masquerade. Like the previous novels, Alderman has several story arcs that run alongside each other. Most of the characters in these storylines cross paths at some points, while other characters seem to be waiting to meet until the final story in the saga. Whereas many books that attempt this sort of divided attention have a difficult time maintaining either focus or interest in the story, Dark Masquerade (and indeed the entire series so far) does not. Alderman is very skilled at creating unique and engaging storylines through the world of his stories. The reader has no problems keeping these storylines and character separated, while keeping the overall story moving forward. This book was a little slow in the beginning, but picks up and explodes after the first few chapters.

     The characters of Dark Masquerade are equally engaging, and Alderman gives us a great variety of believable and relatable characters. From the chain-smoking ex-timeline cop Macayle, to the self-described sexual predator Cynthia Ruin (who in reality is a terribly broken person), the characters contain a great deal of depth and the reader readily identifies with them. There’s a few two-dimensional characters in the story, but most of them don’t stick around (or survive) for too long to really matter. The one exception to this generality is the president, Amanda Stone. She’s a “two-and-a-half-dimensional” character, that I wish was fleshed out a little better, but fortunately is the exception, not the rule.

     In summary, Black Earth: Dark Masquerade is a piece of well-written, enjoyable, and often profound story of science fiction art. Alderman writes as a Christian, and there are certainly Christian themes in his stories, but they are a part of the story, rather than a sermon unnaturally inserted into the story. Some of his characters are believers, some aren’t, but all of them are flawed in their own ways. And unlike so much of “Christian Fiction” (which I wouldn’t do the disservice of labeling this book as) Alderman presents life as it is. Amidst the towering demons, the vicious Legion force and systematic destruction of Earth, the characters curse, use sex to get what they want, smoke, fear, laugh, cry and make horrible choices . . . just like in real life . . . just like in the world most people live in. So, even though portals are opening, hulking beasts are consuming people by the truckloads, and the sun is all but blotted out from the face of the earth, David Alderman paints the picture of a world that all of us recognize as real.

     Dark Masquerade sets the stage for the final book and gives the reader a reasonable ending for a second-to-last series book. Any fan of science fiction, fantasy, supernatural drama or apocalyptic stories really ought to read this fast-pace, and engaging series.

Quality: 9/10

Relevance: 9/10

Releases Wednesday, July 25th

Nick Jonas where he doesn't belong

Sweetie, you have diabetes.



Lime where it doesn't belong

Now save a step when drinking Corona! 

Chocolate where it doesn't belong

In waffles.



10 Reasons You Should Choose Llamas Over Horses

Are you writing a fantasy novel?  Do you find yourself tired of writing the same old animals?  Are you fed up with horses, who do nothing but carry people, pull carts and demand attention?  Do you ever wonder if there’s an animal out there that can do more, without being so elitist?

Well there is!  Introducing

THE LLAMA!!!!!!!

Llama are large animals perfectly suited for all of your questing needs!*  Llamas have uses in the industries of transportation, farming, clothing, fire-building, tanning and food production.

1.       Does your quest take you to the highest reaches of the Forbidden Mountains? Llamas can travel at high altitudes without getting winded, higher altitudes than lowland animals like horses.

2.       Crossing the barren plains?  Llamas don’t need to stop for water when traveling.  It’s enough for them to drink at the end of the day.  Unless, of course, there is no water, in which case they can get moisture from green plants like shrubs and lichen.

3.       Rocky terrain?  A llama can pick their way over rocky terrain more easily than horses.

4.       Heavy equipment?  Llamas can carry 25-30% of their body weight (130 lbs).

5.       No firewood?  Llama dung can be burned in fires.  They even conveniently poop in the same place every day.

6.       Change of wardrobe?  Llama hair can be spun and woven.  Their outer hair is used for ropes and rugs and their undercoat can be used for clothes.

7.       Need some personality?  Llama’s let you know when it’s time to take a break, or you’re asking them to carry too much.  And like their cousin the camel, the llama spits.   But only with each other (usually).

8.       Are a you a shepherd who needs someone to look after your flock while you go questing?  Llamas can be used as guard animals.  (This is a relatively new discovery.)  They will adopt the sheep as their own heard and scare off coyotes and other predators by spitting, stomping and running towards them aggressively.

9.       Need a long term questing companion?  Llamas live 20-25 years.

10.   Want more llamas now?  Female llamas don’t go into heat; they can breed anytime.  Just stick to llamas in a pen, put on some Barry White and in little less than a year you’ll have a baby llama!

Stop wasting time and get your own llama, today!

*This is not a guarantee.  Please note that llamas cannot carry adult humans, only small children.

Chocolate where it doesn't belong

In yogurt.

Llamas

The research for my new book has lead me first to pre-Columbian civilizations of South America, meaning civilizations that existed before 1492, like the Maya, Aztecs and the Inca.  (Remember those from elementary school?)  My first stop on the tour is llamas.



We've been waiting for you, Meg.



Llamas.  Somehow, I always knew it’d end like this.

You see, in 1^st grade my class went on a field trip to a local game farm to see the animals.  At that time I was afraid of cats and dogs and would cling to my mother’s leg whenever we were near them.  At the farm, the animals were behind fences, so I was all right.  I had a good time walking around with a small group from my class with my mom as chaperone.

Then we went into the petting area.



The petting area consisted of baby animals, who where smaller and couldn’t hurt us.  Their diet must have consisted entirely of handouts from school children because as soon as we went through the gate they crowded around us like zombies looking for brains.



I went berserk and jumped up on top of a bench, crying and screaming as the animals kept bleating at my feet.

I was a bit preoccupied to notice what specific animals were begging me for food,  but one of my classmates insists that it was a baby llama that did me in.  In high school we had French together and he ever learned how to say “llama” in French just so he could tease me and look like he was still working.

So I wasn’t surprised when I realized I’d have to be researching llamas for my book.  I knew we had unfinished business.



It turns out though, that llamas are pretty cool.  You can’t ride them but they’re a lot more hearty and agile than horses. They even hum.

That’s why next week I’m going to tell you 10 cool facts about llamas, and why you should choose them over horses when writing your next fantasy novel.

Chocolate where it doesn't belong

In cereal.

Dear John

Dear Alex book,

Because my book is the closest thing
 I have to a relationship right now.

I want to start by saying that I still love you and I think you’re going to be an amazing book someday.  But right now, I think we need a break.

I know I said you were the one, but let’s face it, you’ve got some serious flaws.  I’ve written 15,000 words of you, twice, and your main character is still wandering throughout the narrative without a purpose.  Every draft there are some major character changes, the set hasn’t been painted yet and don’t even get me started on the plot.  I just think you need a little more time to stew on the back burner.

I’ll be honest; I found someone new.  We met about four years ago as I was reading HP 7.  We kept in touch a little, but last week, when I saw my priest sitting in his chair like he was lording over a mead hall, I don’t know.  Something magical happened.  Now we have a plot, a map, great setting, interesting people, a main character with a purpose.  Even a romantic subplot and a theme.  I really feel like this is something special.

So I’m sorry this is goodbye for now, but I truly think this will be good for us.  We’ll both come back in a few years, ready to give it a fresh start.

Best of luck,

Meg

Chocolate where it doesn't belong

In soda.

Writing Religiously: Retiring a Dream

For the longest time it was my dream to have my first novel Untold published. After spending years searching for a publisher in vain, I decided to take matters into my own hands and self-publish. I’m not against self publishing . . . especially when it involves oddball genres. Self publishing was a mistake for this book, though. I worked with a company that promised the stars, delivered next to nothing, and took a large chunk of money from me in the process. Some editing was done on the book, but in truth I was such a young author back then that the story really needed a good overhaul.

And then there was the yearly sucker-tax maintenance fee. I had to pay $50 a year to make sure my book was still in print. Untold has never made more than $50 a year except the first year where I think I made about $275 . . . which didn’t even put a dent in the fees I paid to get the thing published in the first place.

I’ve paid the fee for the past two years mostly out of my desire to have the book still in print for the two to six people who purchase the book every year.

Now it is time for Untold to retire, though. Maybe I’ll re-write the work someday . . . or maybe I’ll just finish the audio drama based in the same world and then let these characters go for good. I don’t know. But I do know that it is time to put this dream to rest.

The last remnants can be ordered here. 

And so I leave you with the saddest word in the English language: Ephemeral.

The Movie Version: John Carter

The first trailer for John Carter, the movie version of Edgar Rice Burroughs's Princess of Mars.

Features 99% more clothes than the book!

Writing Religiously: Clash with the Editor

I just wrote something that I think is absolutely brilliant. It’s one of the best stories I’ve ever produced. I sent it in to be considered for publication in a short story compilation. While I admit that there’s a few unpolished areas in the story, the changes the editor wants to make are extensive, and in my humble (but correct) opinion, they would change the whole thrust of the story in significant ways.

My intent here isn’t to belittle the editor. I have high regard for him. The struggle is, however, a very real one in the world of creative endeavors.

So I’m at a decision point: Do I make all the changes to get published (and undermine the thrust of the story)? Or do I dig my heels in, leave the bulk of the story unchanged and take my story elsewhere if need be?

I think this is a real struggle every author will eventually face. For me, I think I’ll implement some of the suggested changes, dig my heels in about others and see what happens. At the end of the day though, if my name’s slapped on it, it’s got to be something I’m proud of.

Love to hear the shepherd go tweet tweet tweet

From a conversation with my friend (I'll call her Polly), who's old enough to be my grandma:

Polly: 'The Pope tweets'!? Jeepers, give me a break!
Me: Well...everyone does nowadays.
Polly: Yeah, come on, get with the program, Polly.

An elegant weapon...

...for a more civilized age.

Are you listening, Google?

Megan Bodenschatz
Megan Bodenschatz
Megan Bodenschatz
Megan Bodenschatz

Writing Religiously: Publishing Opportunities

Writing Religiously: Publishing Opportunities

I wanted to let you all know about a publishing opportunity through a small publisher, Critical Press Media. Last year one of my short stories was published in their benefit book, The Least of These.

This year they’re trying to do two books. One will focus on the theme of “Miracles” and the other on a “Forerunner.”

The project doesn’t pay anything (except contributor copies), but it’s always nice to have your work published and in the hands of people who wouldn’t otherwise read your stuff!

So get to writing something awesome!

Full details here!

Working for the Batman every night and day

Real conversation from work:

Coworker: This looks like the kind of time clock Batman would have!

Me: *scoffs* Batman doesn't have a time clock. Although...he would have to because Robin's underage and can only work a certain number of hours per day.

Good news Robin! Now that school's out you can work a full 40 hour week!

Sweet dreams aren't made of this

A few months ago I was having really weird dreams every night. That's what happens when you go from eating quasi-healthy food to eating soda, Cheetos, tater tots and frozen BBQ chicken.

All these crazy dreams got me thinking about how amazing our brains are that they can throw random things together and make a story. I used to wonder how my brain would throw me story ideas out of the blue as I was writing. I guess it does it all the time.

Here are some of the bizarro dreams I had.

• I dreamt I was driving my mother’s car into the driveway, but I drove into the back of my car. Then, my brother backed my dad’s car out of the garage, crashing into me.

• I dreamt my Hello Kitty’s seams were breaking and the stuffing was coming out. Every time I tried to hold a seam closed I found another breaking point.

• I dreamt I was at an engagement part for Danny Zuko and some girl, except she was mad because he and his friends weren’t there. I thought of course they aren’t, they don’t like you because they don’t think he should be marrying you. I didn’t think so either, but for some reason I was being really polite about it and not saying anything.

Maybe it was this chick.

• Something about the actress who played the aunt in Sabrina the Teenage Witch, except she was mean like in Fools Rush in

• They temporarily closed the movie theatre in my mall, except design wise it wasn’t my mall. But there was some fancy new three story store with swanky clothing I was checking out. Except there it was difficult to get to the right escalator. Also, there was another floor between the second and third floors, but I forget what was weird about it.

• I was in some church and this guy said he liked me playing the flute (which I don’t remember playing or having with me) and wanted to know if I would play for him and his wife for their anniversary weekend in Vermont. I would have liked to do it, also to be nice, but I said I couldn’t because I hardly played and didn’t have anything prepared and I would make a lot of mistakes and it wouldn’t sound good. His wife was really disappointed.

• I dreamt I was auditing 7th grade. I don’t remember why—like what I was hoping to learn. No one seemed to notice I wasn’t 12.

• I dreamt my friend got shot in the leg. Someone else was putting pressure on it, and then I took over. My friend’s a PA, so I made her look at it so she could tell me how bad it was. She was crying, but really brave.

• I dreamt that a bunch of people got together, even my neighbors, all in their bridesmaids and wedding dresses so we could see the different styles to choose from. I don’t know who was getting married—it wasn’t me.

• I dreamt I was in Australia, but everyone spoke Spanish.

• I dreamt a twelve year old who had a terminal illness invited me to join his band. I wasn’t sure why since I’m not a great singer.

• I dreamt I was at church and I chastised some junior high kids who were talking and making too much noise. I did the full on teacher talk, saying their behavior was unacceptable and disrespectful. Also one of their phones had gone off and the ring tone was “Evacuate the dance floor.”

• I don’t understand this one, but I think I was part of a resistance movement that just won our cause, but we were celebrating like we were at Gatsby’s house and there was a pool and some pillars and it was a summer night and my friend Katie was there, but I woke up before I made my way over to see her.

Writing Religiously: Sending Cards

About eight years ago I made the commitment, as a writer, to never again send any sort of cards with pre-written notes. I reasoned that a card would mean more if it contained my own words, instead of someone else’s.

Then life got busy.

So, while even though I no longer have the time to handwrite every card I send out, I think a simple message of “Congratulations, I’m proud of you” means more coming from my own pen, than all the pith and wit money can buy.